Phenomenal Woman Gone Venomenal

The Phenomenal Woman has gone venomenal.

Nurturing, loving and letting go was not always meant to be gentle or nice…

Self Discovery is not always polite…

…I am glad you’ve taken it on…

… a most necessary process

Blaming catalysts, vessels, messengers that got you there dishonours the process

My job is done and the result, though not mine to claim, is  a good one

Marching Orders are Marching Orders.

“Sir, yes Sir! Reporting for next assignment.”

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Love vs Indifference

Indifference, and not hate, is the real opposite of love.

And just as freeing.

In love, I set you free.

In indifference, I set me free.

Paradoxically, both, when authentically expressed, are acts of acceptance, of love.

I Want What You Want – A share, a journal

In the last couple of months I’ve had some heart shuddering moments courtesy of Flight Soul Air.

I repeatedly found myself declaring to M that I wanted what she wanted. During a moment of seriously heightened blood pressure, I shuddered when I realised that that could include her not wanting to be on the same flight as I.

Thing is, I had declared those words and I would not withdraw them just because it seemed terribly inconvenient. I’d made promises I had no idea how to keep. And those promises were now being called in.

So, the verdict was in, “I want to disembark, Chris.”

Well, I had declared the words, and more than that, I had a personal commitment to keep them. I chose to keep the promise. And it was also in line with my resolution to do at least one thing daily that intimidates me.

No blame,just honouring my word, period. It wasn’t easy, and all is still unfolding. Not always graciously, I might add.

Yet, I’m deeply grateful that I had been granted the opportunity, the privilege. It was an ultimate test.

I see that being  a man who aspires integrity, my duty is to have those in my life WIN in their life, no matter what.

The ‘no matter what’ showed up in a not so gentle way recently.

I’m open to love again and again. More and more.

Increased self awareness showed me that I still need to do some more work on my flying skills. I’ve already signed up for that.

The main requirement being to forgive myself – especially for thinking that I did anything wrong-with the hope of starting over.

With a fresh script and fresh cast and a fresh commitment.

I am grateful for the awesomest flight attendants, who helped on this particular journey.

You know yourselves.

The Flight MUST go on!

Welcome to Flight Soul Air 2010

Goodmorning

Welcome to Flight Soul Air to…

This is your boyfriend speaking.

The temperature is warm and we will be flying at an even altitude of slightly heightened blood pressure and increasing self awareness.

The attitude is one of love, no matter what.

We will encounter the occasional turbulence. This is an environmental necessity to jar the nature of love.

The flight takes a day at a time and on this special flight,  dear first class passenger, you get to choose your destination and length of stay accordingly.

So please sit back, relax and enjoy the flight.

Thank you

(First written on 21st January, 2010)