Eleven years ago,on 15th May 1998, I put down the drink for what I hope was the last time.
I was finally sick and tired of being sick tired. And I was afraid to die that way.
My script then went something like this:
I wish I could afford to drink when I want to, how much I want to: I wish I was like so and so, he goes to Carni, has sodas all night and has mad fun: I wish they would all leave me alone and pay for my bills on their way out: why was I dealt this life of mine? Oh poor me, poor me, pour me a drink.
Fast forward to this moment:
If you had asked me 11 years ago, what my life would look like today, I’d I’ve said that I’d be superplusmegaextrahyper happily married to that drop dead gorgeous beauty whom I adore and adores me. We’d be expecting our 3rd child; maybe fourth, we’d have a lakefront home in Naivasha, bank accounts that would make barons blush. I’d be embarking on my Ph.D. and generally having a great life.
The reality, however, is that I started out with nothing and I have since tripled it and the only significant change is that I have an expanded waistline. You see, in those days, when I was hungry, I drank. Today, I eat. My physical circumstances may not be anything to write home about. I am single and hope to start taking applications soon.
However, I have discovered the gift of a day at a time. A goldmine really that I mine daily. Wealth I get to keep only if I give it ALL away
Yes, I have known raw pain, sheer terror and deep disappointment. These have been opportunities for growth and, therefore, treasures in their own right. There have been scars that are transformed to stars. I am a warrior.
I have an amazingly extraordinary life. I know gratitude as a feeling, an attitude and way of life. Today I am grateful for gift of life, of those who have journied with me and continue to do so and for a world that’s lit by miracles.
I have experienced love, acceptance, forgiveness and acknowledgement. I have had the most amazing victories and diverse careers in film, counselling, hairdressing, HR, and addiction treatment and got my latest job offer last week as a consultant without even a first diploma but certainly a Masters from the University of Hard Knocks, Magna Cum Laude.
I have Rugz, the epitome of unconditional love; awesome friendships, and fellowship; increased common sense and wisdom, laughter and a life that works no matter what.
And most of all, i have a relationship with God that is indefensible and unmessable with and yet a most gracious and humbling one.
I really I am wealthy man and the codeword for today is FULFILMENT.
Yep, I have come full circle and I am taking on having a totally brand new experience of myself and my life a day at a time.
And oh yes, getting laid whilst sober is just soooo mind blowing.
5 thoughts on “Happy Ending? New Beginning”
The way i see it is …Life has this way of creeping up on us repeatedly especially when we refuse to accept in all honestly our mistakes and seek ways to ratify them.How daft can we get in expecting that..what we sow…we will not reap? 7 years ago I irresponsibly got into a bank debt, I really thought that it had been written off…today I got a call from my banker telling me I am blacklisted as uncredit worthy..effectively messing up my loan application and my BIG plans. Who I ask is to blame? What I ask is the lesson?
Yours is a story of inspiration. Your son is the evidence that you are more than you think yourself to be, and you can achieve way beyond your imagination.
. . . finally sick & tired of being sick-tired. . . .discovered the gift of a day at a time. . . there have been scars that are transformed to stars-I am A WARRIOR!!!
I lyk these, it give me the strength n courage to face life as it comes-yet again, I tell myself that I AM A WARRIOR!!!
I recently read your story and thought it was very inspiring. I am amazed at how much one can change just as soon as they make the decision to and remember that its not just them who are affected by their behavior but everyone else that surrounds them.
Thank you for reminding me that my life is not mine alone and the choices I make will in one way or another affect others.
Amazing writing, resonates with me very deeply.