In my journey, I find honouring of self a very tricky affair. I have identified new values that make my life workable. They are honesty, respect and justice.
Now, identifying is the easy part. Honouring those values is where the work is. It is a risky undertaking. I find that it takes courage, effort, independence of thought and action; which is fine. However, all these have to take place in the context of relationships for the honouring to be successfully consummated.
A major obstacle in honoring myself is I struggle with self forgiveness. I have a great life. I say great because it is not driven by fear or addiction as it once was. It exponentially gets better as i continue working on myself. The increased understanding has opened the way to the possibility of wisdom, acceptance and freedom.
The struggle with self forgiveness is largely brought on by guilt from the past and the opinion I have shaped of myself as being unworthy of a great life or, more than that, God’s love. I believe in God and His Love. My sense of shame tells me I am unworthy of his love.
Today, I am grateful because I have chosen to give up the struggle: to pick a new fight, a new battle, a new outlook. I have chosen to relax and loosen up because I realise there is nothing that I can do that would make God’s love for me any less. or even more. It just is . He just is. By honouring that belief, I see that, by extension, I honour myself.
My Side of the Street 